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Why Giving Yourself Grace is Crucial for Your Success

We've all heard the phrase, "practice makes perfect." But what if I told you that striving for perfection can actually hinder your success? As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know how exhausting and daunting it can be to constantly strive for flawlessness. That's why I want to remind you to give yourself grace because it's so important for your personal and professional growth.

When I set out to write my first novel, I was overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all. Sure, I'd written poetry and short stories before, but trying to manage multiple characters, create a believable narrative arc, and get at least 100,000 words on the page seemed daunting. The same was true when i began writing my dissertation.

As a perfectionist, I had the tendency to keep revising what I'd written, so my word count never grew. A dear friend, fellow academic and writer, gave me this sage advice: "Get it wrote, don't worry about getting it right." Before you judge this grammatical faux pas, know that it was intentional!

Like me, you may also strive for perfection by putting immense pressure on yourself to meet unrealistic standards. Perhaps you set such high expectations that you don't even give yourself the chance to even try. This can lead to procrastination, self-doubt, and even anxiety.

Sometimes good enough is just what's needed to get started!

Each semester, I teach a writing class at the local college and many of my students, mostly older adults, are paralyzed from the fear of not being perfect. Time after time, I have to remind them that all I ask of them is to get started. Most things can be fixed later!

I've found it to be so true that when we are more willing to take risks and try new things, it gives us the freedom to grow and improve in ways we never thought possible.

It's also important to remember that failure is not the opposite of success; it's a part of the journey. Many successful individuals have failed many times before they reached their ultimate goal. Giving yourself grace during those moments of failure is crucial to help you get back up and keep going. Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how you can use that knowledge to do better next time.

As you know, I had the bright idea to create safe spaces where women can get together to help each other learn and grow. As I've attempted to build the online community, there have been so many challenges, most of them technological. I have had to learn to give myself grace when I screw something up (and it seems like I'm always screwing things up!!!!).

Another reason why giving ourselves grace is important is because it promotes self-care.

When we strive for perfection, we often neglect our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. We are so focused on the end result that we forget to check in with ourselves along the way. When we give ourselves grace, we prioritize our self-care and take time to recharge. This helps us to be more productive, focused, and fulfilled in all areas of our lives.

I've learned that giving myself grace can actually increase my creativity. I've learned to let go of the pressure to be perfect, so that I can think outside the box and come up with innovative ideas. I've learned to be less afraid of making mistakes and more willing to take creative risks.

I believe giving ourselves grace means acknowledging that we are human and that perfection is not attainable. It means letting go of the pressure to be perfect and embracing the journey of growth and learning. So, join me in giving ourselves permission to make mistakes, learn from them, and most importantly, get some good stuff started!

By the way, if you would like to try out our virtual member platform for free, email me at

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