I've often been told that we can't pour from an empty cup as if it's a self-evident truth, yet I've seen so many women, myself included, attempt to do this very thing more times than I can recall.
As a business owner, wife, and mother, it seems that someone always needs something from me and has made claim on my every waking hour. In a culture that often celebrates busyness as a badge of honor, I know I've been conditioned to say YES to requests and opportunities with an almost reflexive eagerness:
"Sure, I can do that!"
"Yes, I'm available!"
"No problem. That works for me!"
"No worries! I'll adjust my schedule to accommodate yours."
Yet, with each affirmative, we potentially diminish the value of our time, our energy, and our resources. Our YES to that person or opportunity becomes a NO to what's truly important to us.
I've learned that the first step for women to prioritize ourselves is to recognize the immense strength in saying NO. For me, it's about drawing boundaries and refusing to stretch myself too thin. But it's also about recognizing the worth of my contributions and the value of what I bring to the table. Honestly, people may get pissed when you exercise your right of refusal; however, we can not allow that to deter us from what must be done!
The compulsion to say YES often stems from a desire to please, a fear of missing out, or pressure to constantly appear productive and accommodating. While YES can be the catalyst for new ventures and exciting experiences, it can also lead to burnout, resentment, and ultimately, a disconnection from one's authentic self.
Saying YES to something should be an unequivocal decision that aligns with our goals, values, and personal development. In other words it should be a HELL YES every damn time!
It's time for all of us to begin transitioning from a YES as a default response to a YES as a well-considered commitment. By taking some time to think through exactly what we're saying YES to not only preserves our energy but also lends more weight to the things we do finally choose to give our energy to. It's also important to remember that NO is a complete sentence. There's no need to apologize, explain, or justify your reasons. No is No!
If every NO is a YES to something else—be it more time for rest, for projects that truly inspire us, or for activities that bring true joy and authentic connections then it's time to say NO to always saying YES!
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